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jack ryder

Episode Summary

Posted on 2007.09.25 at 16:52
Feelin': busy
Tunes: Koda Kumi-Candy
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Episode 412: King Ho

    Rather than a generic Odd Jobs counselor, Jack is confronted with Julius J, a recruiting pimp who makes quick work of adding Jack to his collection of hos.
    Though he initially questions the morality of turning tricks, a quick chat with Max assures Jack that the body-for-bux transaction is a Ryder tradition.

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jack ryder

Episode Summary

Posted on 2007.09.18 at 12:33
Feelin': amused
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Episode 411: You've Almost Been Served

    Jack takes on the dubious honor of serving subpoenas to minor offenders, but can't quite get the hang of the job. His targets, despite being decrepitly old or morbidly obese, manage to elude him.
    It's only when Leo is accused of being a swindler that Jack feels confident that he can catch a man that's already imprisoned in his own house.

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jack ryder

Episode Summary

Posted on 2007.09.11 at 12:28
Feelin': bluh
Tunes: Some remixed BS
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Episode 410: Revolving Jack

    In an uncharacteristic stroke of luck, Jack lands the dream job of spray-tanning super models.
    But Jack's so eager to get to work, that he manages to lodge himself in the modeling agency's turnstyle. With only the cynical feminist, Julie Atkins, stuck with him, Jack tries to recount his life in a positive light- much to Julie's skepticism.
    [Now, I know you'd rather gnaw off your own hand then tune in to a clip show, but take my word for it- it's hilarious, you'll gain super human powers from watching, and there's gratuitous nudity. Two of these things are entirely true.]


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jack ryder

Episode Summary

Posted on 2007.09.04 at 17:36
Feelin': WRYYyy
Tunes: Those Barking Xmas Dogs
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Production is rolling on at a steady pace, so the blog will go back to being updated weekly- so check in next Tuesday!

Episode 409: Master of Temps

    Under his enigmatic boss, Steve, Jack learns the internal workings of Odd Jobs. To his surprise, not everybody is slapped with the hodge-podge of dead end jobs he's been forced into. Those are just the D List positions.
    Feeling he's finally graduated into a solid C List job, Jack manages to fritter away even more time than the average office worker.
    Strangely enough, his brilliant method of "dumping a pile of potential job folders in front of the job-hunting temps" boosts productivity so much that Jack becomes a company favorite- much to the irritation of his hard working colleagues.
    Meanwhile, Bobby finds himself on the other side of Jack's life, as he quits his job at the company store and starts the soul destroying journey of looking for work in a depressing world that doesn't want to hire anybody, no matter how bloody qualified they are.

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jack ryder

Odd Job Jack, On air!

Posted on 2007.07.31 at 15:44
Feelin': t-(~61d)
Tunes: Archive
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Before we get to yet another riveting episode summary, just a reminder to sidle on over to oddjobjack.com to register. Every time you register I get to go a day without flogging.
But seriously- Sundays at 9:30pm on the Comedy Network: watch it, love it, and dwell forever on the two episodes you've already missed if you haven't had your eyes glued to the screen this past fortnight.
Now onward!
Because who doesn't get all warm and tingly at the mention of time paradoxes?

Episode 408: Twelve Chickens

    Jack takes a job at Edna Daze's chicken farm- a task that would make PETA members swoon. But though Jack is a bit queasy at the prospect of beak-clipping, he does his job diligently- until his familiar ineptitude kicks in, and faced with the job of killing all the chickens to prevent Bird Flu, Jack manages to leave one chick alive.

    From simple job to surreal adventure, Jack is soon met with himself: from the future!

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jack ryder

Episode Summary

Posted on 2007.06.13 at 14:27
Feelin': idk idk
Tunes: Mono Lyrics - Life in Mono Lyrics
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Episode 407: Ryder's Ride

    When Jack is assigned the job of Limo Driver, he jumps on the opportunity to relive his teen years of partying and excess. But chauffeuring kids to and from their proms doesn't turn out to be the wild ride Jack expected; far from accepting his attempts at showing them a good time, the kids mock Jack for being way too old to be such a try-hard.
    Defeated and feeling his age, Jack turns to fellow limo driver, Devon, for advise. Devon tells Jack that the only way to lessen the beatings is to act with refinement, and hope the kids follow suit.
    Meanwhile, Bobby revisits his past as well; his high school crush, Haley, approaches him to DJ the upcoming prom.

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jack ryder

Episode Summary

Posted on 2007.05.23 at 15:29
Feelin': yay srsly
Tunes: Lily Allen - Smile
Tags:
Episode 406: The Beauty Beast

    Jack is picked to assist Dr. Finch, a popular plastic surgeon.
    Though he tries to argue against slicing and dicing one's features for purely cosmetic reasons, Jack is quick to change his tune when the clinic's sexy secretary, Katie, catches his eye.
    But being a shallow and fickle person herself, Katie can always find flaws in Jack, no matter how many nips and tucks he endures; ultimately, Jack sees the dark side of too much surgery- his carefully crafted new face turns to putty, and he is chased out of the glamorous cesspool of plastic people, into the literal sewer, where he learns the meaning of true beauty from the people who know it best- terrifyingly botched beauty-enthusiasts.

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jack ryder

Episode Summary

Posted on 2007.05.09 at 13:38
Feelin': awake
Tunes: Soul Position - No Excuse for Loving
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Episode 405: Flight of the Bumbling Idiot

    Under the e-distracted instruction of his new career councilor, Jack takes a job as a flight attendant. He's tutored in the ways of air travel by his gregarious partner, Debbie. Assuming that Jack is gay (the stewardess hat is pretty convincing), she thinks nothing of making him her confident, pointing out cute guys, and even getting changed in front of him.
    Unfortunately, the partial nudity completely distracts Jack from a suspicious passenger, who's left to his own seedy devices while Jack's attention is focused on more sensuous horizons.
    Meanwhile, Max faces the sad realization that, behind the wheel of a car, she's a geriatric killing machine, and is forced to give up her license.

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jack ryder

Episode Summary

Posted on 2007.05.03 at 12:56
Feelin': bored
Tunes: Desrow-Daikenkai
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Episode 404: Insecticidal Tendencies

    It's any pacifist's (including Jack's) nightmare: killing innocent creatures just because they aren't considered cute by traditional standards.
    But after a few snoot fulls of bug spray courtesy of his partner in crime, Larry, Jack jumps on the bug-fragging bandwagon and is as ready as anybody to completely decimate an entire family of earwigs.
    But once the high from the DDT wares off, will Jack's forgotten morals come back to haunt him?

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jack ryder

Episode Summary

Posted on 2007.04.24 at 12:07
Tunes: Lilly Allen - Naive
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Episode 403: The Good Locksmith

    Jack takes on the world's most tempting job: cracking security.
    Under the tutelage of Eli Farley, a once great locksmith who had his abilities crushed by blindness and finger-mangling, Jack learns the tricks of the trade. But despite the constant temptation to bribe, steal, and coheres to get more than his fair pay, Jack remains an honest locksmith.
    Much the opposite, Bobby and Leo (along with a band of recruited ex-cons) plan to rob a bank, solely for the thrill of doing it better than every heist movie to date.

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jack ryder

Episode Summary

Posted on 2007.04.11 at 11:52
Feelin': amused
Tunes: Sonata of Temptation-Ivy
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Episode 402: MindHumper

    Astoundo's magical repertoire of pulling rabbits out of hats and sawing ladies in half isn't grabbing the audiences it used to, so he hires Jack as his spandex-clad assistant.
    Regardless of how fabulous he looks in sequins, Jack yearns to put on his own magic show, on prime-time TV, with illusions that will Hump the Minds of Millions.
    Meanwhile, away from the world of smoke and mirrors, Leo and Bobby face their own magical misadventure, as a talisman causes them to switch bodies.

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jack ryder

Aaaand, We're Back!

Posted on 2007.04.03 at 17:48
Feelin': back
Tunes: Shiny Toy Guns-Le Disko
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After a brief sojourn, Odd Job Jack is back in full swing. I'll be summarizing and screen-capping episodes as they near completion, so without further ado...

Episode 401: No One Likes An Ape

    Under his new career councilor, a paroled convict named Sheila, Jack is assigned to the notoriously humiliating job of being a mascot (for Dario's Discount Beds, a failing mattress store).
    After becoming stuck in the confined, itchy and smelly gorilla suit, Jack's brain becomes as simian as his outer appearance. Despite administering a little tough love on Jack, even Dario can't control his newly animalistic worker, who breaks free and runs amok in downtown Canada.
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